Love and Freedom

S

(John 13:34-35) A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are My disciples.

O

The "this" that Jesus referred to was His people's assimilation of God's love: (1) Receive it for yourself, (2) Give it away to everyone, (3) Own up to the new identity as being both a disciple of Jesus and a crazy-lover of people, like He is. What's even more surprising about this commandment is its context. What prompted Jesus to say that was the events that immediately preceded that command: He served the final Passover meal to his disciples (including Judas), He washed His disciples' feet (including Judas's), and He released Judas to actively betray both Him and his fellow disciples. Jesus' love included serving His betrayer, without betraying or exposing or hindering him. Respecting people's freedom to be idiots is part of agape love.

A (Personal)

I've learned long ago that God's love is to be received, experienced and enjoyed, and given away--and in that process, to discover that the more it's given it away, the more deeply and tangibly it's experienced and recognized by a watching, awestruck world. What I don't understand is how to balance that with this granting freedom to be foolish or destructive. Isn't my will ... my good intentions ... my better understanding sufficient to override your choice if mine is better?

When zealous, well-meaning crowds tried to forcibly make Jesus king--at the wrong time, with the wrong method, for the wrong purpose--Jesus foiled their plans. When jealous, malevolent crowds (perhaps some of the same people) wanted to toss Jesus over a cliff or later to stone Him--a premature murder attempt--Jesus quietly foiled their plans again. Jesus doesn't participate in evil or even foolishness, but He discerns when it's best to give us freedom to act out our idiocies. Sometimes He saves us from ourselves, but always whatever He does is love.

A (Psychological)

Preventing suicide ... preventing abuse ... preventing divorce. How much freedom do we have to impose my (our) will on someone else? How much power or control do we have against such things? How much moral authority do we have? Does the possibility of success have anything to do with whether we should attempt interventions? People who are among the few professions or individuals who have struggled to organize these ethical burdens have some idea how difficult these decisions can be in real circumstances. Like other professions, psychology is just beginning to labor through and unravel these issues, and (forgive the triteness) those who have started this struggle have equipped themselves better than those of us who haven't engaged in this struggle.

Prayer

Lord, Your love is so much greater than anything I can comprehend. Your care for Your betrayers is shocking. I want to both receive and give away Your love. I know--speaking as one of Your betrayers--I am eternally grateful for Your mercy. Without the freedom You gave me to sin, I would have never realized how dark and corrupt my heart is without Your transforming love. O Lord, teach me all over again how to love people with Your love.

Power to Be in God's Image

Scripture

(2 Samuel 15:32) While David was coming up to the summit [of the Mount of Olives], where God was worshiped, behold Hushai the Archite came to meet him with his coat torn and dirt on his head.

Observation

David--the rejected king, weeping and barefoot on this holy ground--prefigured Jesus' rejection and sorrow. Little could David have imagined that centuries later, David's Savior Himself would also spend the night weeping there at Gethsemane, fully understanding what David had experienced. But unlike Jesus, David benefited from the company of people who remained faithful to him. Hushai was one of those heroic ones. He rejected the shame of being identified with a rejected king. He prefigured us, who courageously refuse to become enamoured by the world's temporary promises and pleasures, choosing instead (even if mistreated) to be identified with God's people and purposes (Hebrews 11:23-27).

Application (Psychological)

Whether it's a nation, a royal family, or a marriage, the health of that system can be measured by its ability to maintain cohesion (a healthy spectrum of emotional bonding and autonomy) and adaptability (a healthy spectrum of stability and flexibility). Those two axes form the Circumplex Model, and, according to Beckvar and Beckvar (Family Therapy: A Systemic Integration, 2003, pp. 283-285), they are components of the Global Assessment of Relational Functioning (GARF), a familiar assessment tool in Appendix B of the DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition,Text Revisions).

Ignoring the temptation to diagnose Israel and David's family, I'll note that Hushai had enough ego strength to resist the psychological and sociological forces that swept most the nation behind Absalom's leadership. Hushai "celebrated" his healthy sense of autonomy, his freedom to make his own decisions about his life and to be responsible for his decisions. From today's view, his independence looks like a psycho-social personal achievement, but at the time it probably seemed a fool's errand. It's great when history reveals the happy conclusion of such choices.

Application (Personal)

I, too, want to value autonomy. Civic pride, as good as it is, must be tempered by being responsible for my own choices, even if they're contrary to community choices. If I value autonomy for me, I should also encourage others to make their own self-responsible choices even while negotiating through relational differences respectfully. As much as I'd like to force people to conform to my opinions of what I think is best for them (for me, or for all of us), I can't . . . at least, I can't do that if I'm going to function like my Savior. Jesus chose tears and rejection rather than forcing people to act wisely but against their wills (I know that only too well). Because Jesus respects my freedom even more than I do, I realize how much greater love is than I'd previously imagined--Love is letting people define themselves while being careful not to lose my own goodness and identity. I want to be like Hushai as He followed Jesus.

Prayer

Lord, thank You for the freedom You've given me. You trust me with time, with money, with influence. You trust me with decisions that have real consequences. It does no good to call You crazy or to deny that I get choices. You expect me to make my own decisions. You expect me to define my own values and to live with the consequences. It takes true courage to live well. Please teach me to be responsible with my freedom, with my life . . . with my inescapable impact on others.