S(Titus 2:15-3:3) Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no on disregard you. Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.
O
Scholar-imposed chapter and verse breaks--as convenient as they are--blur the author's stream of thought. Paul gave Titus these 11 strikingly dissimilar directives as one continuous thought. Outsiders reading his letter might think Paul advocated Titus becoming a multi-personality leader. The end of chapter 2 directs Titus to act like (what culture might call) an alpha male: "Declare, exhort, rebuke ... with all authority." That is followed immediately by directing him to be, culturally speaking, a beta female: "Be submissive ... obedient ... ready for every good work ... never speaking evil ... never quarreling, always gentle, always perfectly courteous." Evidently, the Holy Spirit is shattering our cultural notions of proper masculinity and femininity: both ideals are required for both sexes, without diminishing the strength and majesty of either.
A (Psychological)
Through years of work as a psychotherapist, R Schwartz developed what he calls the Internal Family Systems Model (IFS). I summarize it this way: each person is a composite of subpersonalities each with its own viewpoint, qualities, perspective, interests, goals, and memories. Each part has a positive motive to protect the person from pain, even though its method creates dysfunction. Jay Earley said, “You can think of [these subpersonalities] as little people inside us…. We all have parts like the inner critic, the abandoned child, the pleaser, the angry part, and the loving caretaker.” The IFS solution is to unite these enough to create a working, trusting relationship with this “internal family system;” thereby, creating a whole self.
IFS recognizes three subpersonality types: Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters. In their extreme roles, they create dysfunction: (1) Managers act preemptively and authoritatively to protect self from the external pain of other people or the internal pain of the other subpersonalities—primarily the Exile. (2) Exiles have been wounded by unresolved trauma, shame, and fear (often from childhood, but not exclusively). Managers and Firefighters try to keep the Exile exiled (away from consciousness or influence). (3) Firefighters become active when Exiles demand attention. Firefighters distract self from Exile by engaging in impulsive behaviors like over-eating, over-drinking, stealing, worrying, fighting, or fornication; or they try to silence the Exile by using more acceptable distractions of over-working, over-meditating, or over-spiritualizing issues.
For some people, this psychological metaphor may help conceptualize the internal strife people experience. Interestingly, Paul’s letter, when read with “IFS glasses,” provides solutions for one’s internal manager, exile, and firefighter. Pretty amazing stuff!
IFS recognizes three subpersonality types: Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters. In their extreme roles, they create dysfunction: (1) Managers act preemptively and authoritatively to protect self from the external pain of other people or the internal pain of the other subpersonalities—primarily the Exile. (2) Exiles have been wounded by unresolved trauma, shame, and fear (often from childhood, but not exclusively). Managers and Firefighters try to keep the Exile exiled (away from consciousness or influence). (3) Firefighters become active when Exiles demand attention. Firefighters distract self from Exile by engaging in impulsive behaviors like over-eating, over-drinking, stealing, worrying, fighting, or fornication; or they try to silence the Exile by using more acceptable distractions of over-working, over-meditating, or over-spiritualizing issues.
For some people, this psychological metaphor may help conceptualize the internal strife people experience. Interestingly, Paul’s letter, when read with “IFS glasses,” provides solutions for one’s internal manager, exile, and firefighter. Pretty amazing stuff!
A (Personal)
How can one person be such extremes of personality, whether it's an internal manager, exile, or firefighter (as Schwartz describes) or whether it's a powerful rebuker, a submitter to all authorities, or an ever-gracious and gentle encourager (as Paul directs)? Yet internally, we often swing between aggressor and victim, friend and foe, and disciplined and chaotic. Unfortunately, too, we often drag others into our dark moods and misdirected exhortations. The answer I've found is moving deeper into Christ's love. He models the perfection of all subpersonalities within each of us while He heals us: "For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us ..." (Titus 3:3-4).
P
Wonderful Savior, when I feel weak and exiled, restore my strength and be My Redeemer. When I am wounded, be my healer comforter. When I am strong, temper that with Your humility. When I am with others who need Your presence, help me to be to them what they need from You so they might recognize Your love sooner.
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