Isolation's Double Bind

Scripture

(Proverbs 18:1 ESV) Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

Observation

This text seems to warn people against isolating themselves. Indeed, psychologists view a person's isolation with suspicion: it's part of depression's slippery slope, it's a chapter from domestic abusers' strategy book, it's a placebo in paranoid schizophrenia's pharmacy. Yet Jesus Himself demonstrated that isolation is a necessary part of health and wholeness:

• And it happened, as He was alone praying, that His disciples joined Him, and He asked them, saying, “Who do the crowds say that I am?”(Luke 9:18).
• So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed (Luke 5:16).

Historically, this proverb has stumped many translators. Adam Clarke said its original Hebrew version is difficult and obscure, and he provided examples of how others have translated it:

• "He who wishes to break with his friend, and seeks occasions or pretences, shall at all times be worthy of blame" (Vulgate, Septuagint, and Arabic)
• "Who so hath pleasure to sowe discorde, piketh a quarrel in every thinge" (Coverdale).
• "Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom" (King James Version).

Adam Clarke's decision of how this verse is best translated is as follows:

"He who is separated shall seek the desired thing, (i.e., the object of his desire,) and shall intermeddle (mingle himself) with all realities or all essential knowledge." He finds that he can make little progress in the investigation of Divine and natural things, if he have much to do with secular or trifling matters: he therefore separates himself as well from unprofitable pursuits as from frivolous company, and then enters into the spirit of his pursuit; is not satisfied with superficial observances, but examines the substance and essence, as far as possible, of those things which have been the objects of his desire.

Application (Personal)
Yea, Mr. Clarke! Sometimes life's pressures demand making space for isolation., for private rest. It's healthy if both motive and method are pure--to withdraw from ... (whatever), for the purpose of drawing closer to something better. Therefore, here are my decisions:

1. Although the privilege of enjoying God's ever-available presence is a gift I frequently neglect, I set myself to share David's experience of God (from Psalm 91:1,2): "I will dwell in the shelter of the Most High and abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' "
2. Although the necessary routines and responsibilities of life are ever present and although they come in an unending variety, I will take a season to extract myself from all of these that I can responsbily leave so I can focus wholeheartedly on being fully attentive to the instructions my God would have for me.

Application (Psychological)
The tension is real--it's a double bind. Some people are extroverts--energized by social interactions and external mental processing; others are introverts--energized by privacy and internal mental processing. In 1949, Raymond Cattell published the first edition of his 16 Personality Factor Questionnaire (16PF). The 16PF is a self-report assessment instrument that measures the 16 normal adult personality dimensions. Imbedded in this measurement are scales of extroversion (social boldness) and introversion (privateness). These are the Cattell’s 16 personality scales he obtained through factor analysis:

1. Warmth
2. Reasoning
3. Emotional Stability
4. Dominance
5. Liveliness
6. Rule-Consciousnes
7. Social Boldness
8. Sensitivity
9. Vigilance
10. Abstractedness
11. Privateness
12. Apprehensiveness
13. Openness to Change
14. Self-Reliance
15. Perfectionism
16. Tension

Contempory churches tend to promote extroversion as normal and best. That is the preferred dimension of God, as Adam Hugh quotes Richard Halverson: "The extravert God of John 3:16 does not beget and introvert people.." Adam Hugh (finally) brings balance to that trend in his book Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture. Here are particularly salient quotes he included in his book:

• "The healthy Christian is not necessaryily the extrovert, ebullient Christian, but the Christian who has a sense of God's presence stamped deep on his soul, who trembles at God's Word, who lets it dwell in him richly by constant meditaiton upon it, and who tests and reforms his life daily in response to it" (J. I. Packer, A Quest for Godliness: The Puritan Vision of the Christian Life).
• "Without knowldege of self there is not knowledge of God. Without knowledge of God there is no knowledge of self" (John Calvin, The Institutes of the Christian Religion).
• "The question I put to myself is not 'How many people have you spoken to about Christ this week?' but 'How many people have youlistened to in Christ this week?' " (Eugene Peterson, The Contemplative Pastor).

Prayer
(Quoted from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions; edited by Arthur Bennett. pages 32-33):

Christ Is All

O Lover to the Uttermost,

May I read the meltings of thy heart to me

     in the manger of thy birth,

     in the garden of thy agony,

     in the cross of thy suffering,

     in the tomb of thy resurrection,

     in the heaven of thy intercession.

Bold in this thought I defy my adversary,

     tread down his temptations,

     resist his schemings,

     renounce the world,
     am valiant for truth.
Deepen in me a sense of my holy relationships to thee,
     as spiritual Bridegroom,
     as Jehovah's Fellow,
     as sinner's Friend.
I think of thy glory and my vileness,
     thy majesty and my meanness,

     thy beauty and my deformity,

     thy purity and my filth,

     thy righteousness and my iniquity.

Thou hast loved me everlastingly, unchangeably,

     may I love thee as I am loved.

Thou has given thyself for me,

     may I give myself to thee.

Thou has died for me,

     may I live to thee,

     in every moment of my time,

     in every movement of my mind,

     in every pulse of my heart.

May I never dally with the world and its allurements,
     but walk by thy side,
     listen to thy voice,
     be clothed with thy graces,
     and be adorned with thy righteousness.

Linear Paths through a Circuitous World

 Scripture (Proverbs 4:10-19 ESV)
10 Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many. I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness. When you walk, your step will not be hampered and if you run, you will not stumble.

13 Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.

14 Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble. For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.

18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.

Observation
The contrast of two paths is a familiar theme in both the Old and New Testaments. The first paragraph (verses 10-12) informs us, once again, that godly obedience prolongs not merely the length of life, but the quality of life. Of course. The descriptions of godliness includes such health-promoting qualities as peace instead of anxiety, joy instead of despair, delight instead of ungratefulness, and healthy relationships instead of chronic relational skirmishes whether they are in face-to-face encounters or in the endless replays in our imaginations, Logically, godliness is the supreme path to walk. I love what Alexander Maclaren said about these verses: "Sin is the stupidist thing in the universe, for it ignores the plainest of facts, and never gets what it flings away so much to secure."

In the second paragraph (verse 13), our relationship to Instruction becomes the focus of attention. As a hiker in a hurricane would hold a map tightly lest it be ripped away, as a visitor in an over-crowded marketplace in a foreign land (China? Madris? New York City?), as a refugee secreting away family gems in hope of a better life in another location, so should we secure God's instructions safely in our hearts. Maclaren comments: "Hands become slack, and many a good gift drops from nerveless fingers; thieves abound who will filch away instructions if we do not resolutely hold tight by it." Repentance is our key for discerning God's instruction (Proverbs 1:23): "If you turn [repent] at my reproof, [God's Word], I will pour out my Spirit to you and I will make my words known to you." Simply put, if we value His voice, we'll not only hear it, but we'll be empowered and guided by His Spirit to keep up with him"

In the third paragraph (verses 14-17, we look at the negative examples of people who lost their way. Here are repeated counsels to steer clear of evil. The trend today is to quote Rick Warren, "It's not about you" as a encouragement to be less ego-centric. However, here Solomon shows us the other side of that coin: it actually is all about us. We can't honestly hold other people responsible for the quality of our lives. In steering away from evil, it is all about us making a strong effort to keep evil at arm's length, Our resistance to evil is imperative, and we must become both accustomed and accomplished at saying "No!" (James 4:5-10; 1 Peter 5:5-10).

Finally, in verses 18-19, we see the dramatic contrast between the two paths before us. Godliness is that steady, deliberate, focus on a single, simple goal: loving and pleasing God. Wickedness is that hairball-like trail people follow when they don't value God's Word. Such lives flow like the trail of a lost person who panicked and ran in circles in a dense forest, never far from the safe road, but always just missing it or not recognizing it. I am so thankful that, through loving God, we get to walk an increasingly brighter, better trail.

Application (Psychological)
Counselors of studied the confused paths of people who try to escape addictive, self-destructive behaviors. DiClemente (Addiction and Change, p. 238) says, "leaving an addictive behavior once it has become well maintained requires a journey through stages of recovery.... Although the journey could occur in a single attempt and a linear fashion, most often it is not rapid. Many individuals spend long periods of time in one or another of these stages [Precontemplative, Contemplative, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance], and most make a number of Action attempts before they successfully establish a lifestyle that is free of the addiction. For most addicted individuals who struggle to get free of their addiction, the journey follows what is more like a spiral path of movement through the stages of recovery. Forward successful movement toward change is often achieved only after cycling and recycling several times through the stages of Contemplation, Preparation, and Action before reaching stable recovery and finally exiting this spiral. ... Permanent change is not only possible but the norm for those who persist in learning how to move successfully through the stages of change." Here, too, we see these two contrasting paths: one is disciplined, deliberate, and linear, the other is confused, circuitous, and non-linear.

Application (Personal)
Walking with the Lord requires steady nerves and a clear focus. This isn't a natural response in the midst of a storm. However, once I splash cold water in my face to re-orient myself to my love of the Lord and my trust in His goodness, the confusion of the world blends into the shadows because of the brightness of my goal--God's glory. In the brightness of the noonday sun, shadows are darkest and most distinct. Anytime I become aware of the deep, dark shadows around me, I resolve to look directly into the brightness of God's glory in Jesus Christ. 

Prayer (Quoted from "Valley of Vision: Puritan Prayers and Devotions" page 12-13, "The Mover"):
O Supreme Moving Cause, may I always be subordinate to thee,
   be dependent on thee,
   be found in the path where thou didst walk,
   and where thy Spirit moves,
   take heed of estrangement from thee,
   of becoming insensible to thy love.
Thou dost not move men like stones,
   but dost endue them with life,
   not to enable them to move without thee,
   but in submission to thee, the first mover.
O Lord, I am astonished at the difference
   between my receivings and my deservings,
   between the state I am now in and my past gracelessness,
   between the heaven I am bound for and the hell I merit.
Who made me to differ, but thee?
   for I was no more ready to receive Christ than were others;
   I could not have begun to love thee had thou not first loved me,
   or been willing unless thou had first made me so.
O that such a crown should fit the head of such a sinner!
   such high advancement be for an unfruitful person!
   such joys for so vile a rebel!
Infinite wisdom cast the design of salvation
   into the mould of purchase and freedom;
Let wrath deserved be written on the door of hell,
   but the free gift of grace on the gate of heaven.
I know that my sufferings are the result of my sinning,
   but in heaven both shall cease;
Grant me to attain this haven and be done with sailing,
   and may the gales of thy mercy blow me safely into harbour.
Let thy love draw me nearer to thyself,
   wean me from sin, mortify me to this world,
   and make me ready for my departure hence.
Secure me by thy grace as I sail across this stormy sea.