Is Our Heavenly Father Difficult to Please?

December 23, 2011

Scripture: Proverbs 23:15,16

My son, if your heart is wise, my heart will be glad, even mine; Yes, my heart will rejoice when your lips speak right things.

Observation

So this is how to please parents. Since this is inspired by the Holy Spirit, it’s also a good indicator of how we as God’s children can make our heavenly Father’s heart be glad and rejoice.

Application (Personal)

It’s not necessarily the difficulties I face or even the mistakes I make, it’s my responses that are so valuable. As Solomon went on to explain, we’re constantly tempted to distracting desires and relational questions (“How come evil people get to enjoy such opulence”). Ignoring that, or rather, looking through and beyond that, we are instructed to pursue wisdom, specifically the wisdom that comes from the Lord:

"Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord all the day long. For surely there is a latter end [a future and a reward], and your hope and expectation shall not be cut off. Hear, my son, and be wise, and direct your mind in the way [of the Lord]."

Prayer (adapted from James 1)

Heavenly Father—Dad—I consider it wholly joyful whenever I am enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. I rest in confident assurance, understanding that the trial and proving of my faith brings out endurance and steadfastness and patience, which you know that I need more than wealth or convenience. So, I will let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that I may be among the people who are perfectly and fully developed, with no defects, lacking in nothing.

Okay, you know that I am deficient in wisdom. I’m catching on to that, too. So I ask you for wisdom, knowing that you give that to everyone who asks for that by faith, and you answer that liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding.

I realize now that every good gift and every perfect gift is from you. It comes from you, the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. After all, of your own will, you begat us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of your creatures.

Father, because you love me so, I choose to be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. I want my actions to reflect your wisdom and the words off my lips to delight you with faithfulness, truthfulness, and grace.

Rewarded Worship

December 20, 2011

Scripture: 2 Chronicles 15:7

Be strong, therefore, and let not your hands be weak and slack, for your work shall be rewarded.

Observation

Asa’s history with the Lord caused this prophecy to be appropriate for him. In response, Asa aggressively continued his devotion to the Lord (verses 8-13):

“And when Asa heard these words … he (1) took courage and (2) put away the abominable idols from all the land … and he (3) repaired the altar [of burnt offering] of the … (4) and he gathered all Judah and Benjamin and the strangers with them out of Ephraim, Manasseh, and Simeon … (5) and they sacrificed to the Lord on that day from the spoil which they had brought … (6) and they entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, and to yearn for Him with all their heart's desire and with all their soul … (7) and that whoever would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, should be put to death, whether young or old, man or woman.” 

Application (Personal)

God’s Word is provided for my encouragement, too. My application of His Word is not the same as was appropriate (I suppose) for Asa, but it does point to appropriate resonses and corresponding spiritual zeal:

1.     Take courage, because God rewards good works.

2.     Put away anything that reduces or distracts from my love of the Lord.

3.     Repair what is culturally or personally damaged or neglected in my worship of Jesus.

4.     Gather with people who are also willing to worship the Lord.

5.     Return thanks to the Lord for his favor and goodness to us.

6.     Renew our corporate covenant with the Lord.

7.     Separate my heart from anyone or anything that opposes the Lord.

Prayer (from 2 Chronicles 16:9)

Lord, your eyes run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show yourself strong on behalf of them whose heart is perfect [shalem—8003, full, complete, whole, uninjured, peaceful, friendly, cherished] toward you. You look and you keep looking for such worshipful relationship, only to be continually disappointed and hurt by our foolish half-heartedness toward you. Please inspect my life and my heart today. May the words of my mouth, the meditations of my heart, and my responses to your grace be a source of delight and pleasure to you. Amen.

Self-Satisfaction: A Valuable Goal

Scripture
The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself. (Proverbs 14:14)

Observation
There exists within people (potentially) an internal source of satisfaction. This godly self-satisfaction comes from being a good person. The Amplified Bible translates this text this way:

“The backslider in heart [from God and God-fearing] shall be filled with [the fruit of] his own ways, and a good man shall be satisfied with himself [with the holy thoughts and actions which his heart prompts, and in which he delights].”

Application (Personal)
How will I be satisfied within myself, how will I know whether I’m good or not? I need to first understand what I’ve been created for and what my calling is from God. Once I understand my life-goal, then whatever distracts, diminishes, or destroys that movement is dis-satisfying. It’s sin. Apparently Susanna Wesley (mother of John and Charles), gave her children this definition of sin as a means of judging the appropriateness or inappropriateness of various pleasures and activities:

“Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sight of God, takes from you your thirst for spiritual things or increases the authority of your body over your mind, then that thing to you is evil. By this test you may detect evil no matter how subtly or how plausibly temptation may be presented to you.”

Application (Psychological)
August Wilson, in his play “Gem of the Ocean,” explores the theme from the lives of oppressed African-Americans in the early twentieth century. He has Black Mary say (p. 73):

“You got to be right within yourself, before you can be right with anyone else.”

Aunt Esther, earlier in the play, explains it this way (p. 46):

“The people will come and tell you anything. They got all kinds of problems. They tell you this and they tell you that. You’ll come to find out most of the time they looking for love. Love will go a long way toward making you right with yourself. They looking for love and don’t know what it is. If you tell them they still don’t know. You got to show them how to find it for themselves.”

Prayer
“And David perceived that the Lord had established him king over Israel, and that he had exalted his kingdom for his people Israel’s sake” (2 Samuel 5:12). Lord, in a similar way, you have graced me with a kingdom—not as the head of a nation, but as an influencer of the people around me. You have given me a domain of time and a space within a section of human history. Like so many kings of old, I get to choose the quality and influence of my life. Lord, help me to accurately discern your call and plan for me that I may fully cooperate with you, my Creator, Redeemer, and Good Shepherd.

Grace to Justify, Grace to Condemn, Grace to Fight

Scripture
(Proverbs 17:15) He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike—an abomination to the Lord.


Observation
To the Hebrew whose thoughts and life were structured by God’s ancient words, the idea presented in this proverb would have sounded familiar:

You shall not pervert the justice due to your poor in his lawsuit. Keep far from a false charge, and do not kill the innocent and the righteous, for I will not acquit the wicked. And you shall take no bribe, for the bribe blinds the clear-sighted and subverts the cause of those who are in the right. You shall not oppress a sojourner. You know the heart of a sojourner, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt (Exodus 23:6-9).

Bribery—a secret, willful perversion of justice. It’s probably much more common than the cliched secret exchange of cash. Hmmm … is the briber or the bribee supposed to wink? Wouldn’t it better to avoid eye contact altogether? And how safe is a bribe without a written contract? What if you disguise it as a fair and public exchange? (Why does congress come to mind right now?)


This proverb is a quietly strong challenge. We all have the unfortunate tendency to deform justice so it serves our personal comfort and convenience. If I challenge you for doing wrong, then I risk losing the benefits of our relationship. If the gap between our personal power it great enough, I can force you to fulfill my wishes (d.b.a. “needs”) against your will and best interest. Each of our days is probably filled with opportunities to resist injustice and to challenge wrongdoings, most of which we probably choose to ignore. Not challenging wrong becomes a character trait that ends up justifying the wicked and condemning the innocent simply because of the short-term benefits we get. We then lose our ability to challenge our own wrongs and other’s.


Application (Psychological)
This proverb assumes an agreement of which behaviors warrant condemnation. Such an agreement, such a commonality, is not likely even for the more optimistically misguided among us. That lack of agreement, however, doesn’t release us from concern about relational values.


So when is it appropriate for me to challenge another person when I think they’re doing wrong? That’s easier asked than answered. Consider a mom observing her child’s immaturity (it’s tough enough making such decisions when the child is having an age-appropriate emotional fit). Consider also an employee chafing under an employer’s unethical practices or a neighbor whose neglected pets are disrupting the peace of the neighborhood. Such cases get even more complex when I remember that my sense of right and wrong might be vastly different from another person’s. In moments of purified awareness, I’d have to admit that my values are influenced by my narcissism more frequently than I’m usually willing to admit to myself, much less to you.


Following are two psychological constructs that might temper our narcissistic tendencies.


First, by acknowledging our ego-centric assumptions, we might be able to dilute them live more peaceable with fellow humans. We humans—almost universally—believe we have each fundamentally figured out the way things actually are and that we have done this objectively. We naturally believe in our intuitive perceptions over each other’s. Here are examples of common ego-centric assumptions:

"It's true because I believe it." Innate ego-centrism: I assume that what I believe is true even though I have never questioned the basis for many of my beliefs.


"It's true because we believe it." Innate socio-centrism: I assume that the dominant beliefs within the groups to which I belong are true even though I have never questioned the basis for many of these beliefs.


"It's true because I want to believe it." Innate wish fulfillment: I believe in (for example) descriptions of behavior that make me look good even though I have not seriously considered the contrary evidence. I believe whatever feels good, supports my other beliefs, does not require me to change my thinking significantly, or require me to admit being wrong.


"It's true because I have always believed it." Innate self-validation: I have a strong desire to maintain beliefs that I have long held, even though I have not seriously considered the extent to which those beliefs are justified, given the evidence.


"It's true because it is in my selfish interest to believe it." Innate selfishness: I hold fast to beliefs that justify my getting more power, money, or personal advantage even though these beliefs are not grounded in sound reasoning or evidence.

Second, by adhering to our psychological and counseling ethical codes, we engage more constructively with our collective morals. We need to submit. As wonderful as denial feels, we need to admit that we have human weaknesses—that we’re not demigods (and when you look at classical Greek and Roman myths, for example, there are few examples of moral behavior there, either).


Bribery is condemned in our professional ethical codes as well—not necessarily the types of bribes that are sealed with a wink, but the types, though, that we label as our dual or multiple relationships with clients. Outside of the clinical office—especially in a small community—it’s not easy to have only one role with a client. It might even be impossible. Dual or multiple relationships with clients tend to convolute ethical standards, and our ethical purities tend to break down in the presence of completing priorities. And once we humans get into that kind of confused state, we naturally resort to resolving conflict by subltly changing the question to “What’s better for me?” instead of “What’s the best professional help I can give you?” Here are three examples of why dual relationships are bad ideas for professional helpers:

(Therapist's justification): “As your therapist, I know you should reduce the stressors in your life, but you promised me that you’d paint my house before my party this weekend.”


(Swim-Team Coach's thoughts): “At the very least, I should be asking you some tough questions about your failed marriages and your inability to keep a job and probably some other safeguards, too, but you are the only one who agreed to drive our girls’ swim team to their competition in another state. Hmmmm. Is it worth the risk?”


(Pastor's justification): “I know your ex-wife accused you of abusing your children, but you said all the right things about being a Christian and you seem very gentle … and I really need just one more counselor for my cabin …”

Doing justice, practicing good, promoting safety, and enjoying liberty—these are as important to humans as air, water, and shelter. Few people would argue against these. And God agrees: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8). Yet these simple goals are as mind-boggling evasive for a community as … as … well, maybe there’s nothing else quite as evasive.


Of course, I don’t want to condemn the innocent. Of course, I don't want to justify the wicked. But what about things God has done for me? This leads to the conundrum of the cross and the Christian perspective on this:

For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)


For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23)


Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God (Romans 5:1-2).


There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit (Romans 8:1)

Regardless of who I am or what I've done, God does not excuse or justify my sin (our sins). Sin is still wrong. It is still an abomination to Him. He condemned it even though that condemnation severed His relationship with us. But He also paid the penalty for our sins. He paid it Himself, thus freeing all of us from the crushing condemnation that perfect Justice demanded. His love solved the conundrum by paying the price of justice—death. His was not a justice-perverting bribe—it was (as described in the second chapter of Ephesians), a bride-ransoming investment. God died and rose again so He could still receive the mysterious benefits of relationship with us. Why would He love any of us so?


Prayer
Lord, I struggle with humility. I gladly receive, enjoy, and share the rich grace and forgiveness you gave me, but I’m not sure how to do that humbly, to not coddle the wickedness that caused so much pain to all of us? Between You and me, sure, I’m happy to receive Your grace and frolic through the new life you’ve provided. But how—with your grace—do I respond when I become aware of wickedness being practiced around me? Of course, it’s much easier to see in others than in me. Nonetheless, I want to be an agent of your grace that is strong enough to resist effectively injustice and promote freedom. I guess I need Your miraculous help.


Lord, my prayer doesn’t end here, simply acknowledging the difficulty isn’t enough. I still need to wrestle more vigorously with lifes moral and ethical obligations. I know I don’t do that perfectly or even very well, but, Lord, I’m willing to learn and to keep pursuing Goodness, Justice, Kindness, and Humility.


Yes, help me resist whatever is abominable to You and structure my life around those things that give You pleasure. Amen and amen!

When Stop Allows a Far Better Start

Scripture

(Luke 7:14) Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, "Young man, I say to you, arise."

Observation
These three events--Jesus' touch, the crowd's freeze-action response, and Jesus' command--happened at the point of impact between two highly charged crowds. Here is the context that surrounds that drama (12-17):

Soon afterward [Jesus] went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a great crowd went with him. As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, "Do not weep." Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, "Young man, I say to you, arise." And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. Fear seized them all, and they glorified God, saying, "A great prophet has arisen among us!" and "God has visited his people!" And this report about him spread through the whole of Judea and all the surrounding country.

To convey the striking elements of this story, Luke tells us about the living, not about the young man who died, the young adult man whose life was aborted. Instead, Luke introduced us to the woman who lost her marriage through death, now her motherhood. She was desperately alone in this crowd. Jesus, knowing her plight, had compassion on her and responded to her. She didn't solicit Him, perhaps wasn't even aware of Him being there. Jesus simply saw the woman’s agony and responded by touching the bier upon which the dead man was being carried (presumably by men, his friends). The abruptly halted. Their momentum and coordination "urched."


What if these men had refused to stop? Was touching a funeral bier common or uncommon? Why did they stop? Were they expectant, knowing this was Jesus? Were they shocked? Curious? Angry? Confused? Perhaps some of each. They, like the former mother, apparently didn't say anything to Jesus. They didn't ask questions. They didn't make demands. They didn't beg. Jesus simply understood and responded--He touched that bier and halted both crowds of people. Everyone froze and waited. Waited for what?


Jesus had His own private business dealings with the young man's spirit on the other side of the death--things the crowd didn't know about. In sight of the the crowd, though, Jesus dealt with the issues they saw and felt and understood. Why did He touch the funeral bier? That touch begged for something significant to happen next. What?


Application (Personal)
Like the funeral crowd, we live in a world of systems and structures. We collectively push forward processes and procedures. We parade our projects, dreams, and aspirations. Metaphorically (and perhaps literally), these things are just as lifeless as both this young man and the wooden structure his body had been piled on. Jesus didn't hug the widow. He didn't touch the dead man (that would have brought attention to the legal complications of touching corpses). He touched the bier upon which they carried the corpse.


Metaphorically, what are there dead structures or systems in my life that I’m carrying around? What are the lifeless projects I'm investing my life in, grieving and regretting and bemoaning along the way? I don't have time to parade pointless projects or push forward fruitless work. In the history of their earlier worship, they were taught that God's glory (pictured by the golden Ark of the Covenant) was to be carried on people's shoulders. Before these crowds, Jesus saw people parading--not God's glory--but a lifeless mockery of God's glory. That broke Jesus' heart.


I need Jesus to judge and touch the things I'm carrying so He can command life and wholeness. At least these people recognized their grief. How sad it would be if I spent my life laboring under fruitless works.
• Are there projects in my life that no longer bear the evidence of life?
• Am even aware of the noxious, “toxious”, or obnoxious things in my life?
• Are my dreams of God's glory in need of Jesus' resurrecting command?

Application (Psychological)
Certainly this suggests the narrow focus we have when our circumstances are so distressing or busy that we can't see the larger context or needs. Someone dies, as in this example, we respond blindly and numbly as best we can using what traditions and systems we can repeat. Frankly, this story suggest even more profoundly our need for nothing less that spiritual interventions from God. Our psychological systems--like the funeral bier--need that divine touch as well.

Prayer
Jesus, how typical this is of You: because You loved us and touched us before we understood Your love or good plans, we get to discover the essence and reality of real love. Thank You for not waiting for us to ask or become worthy of Your compassion.


Lord, may I be like the young man who died: whether I live or die, I want to serve You and Your glory? As I wander through my days on this side of the grave, instead of being dazed and distracted by heavy, fruitless obligations, may I be willingly interrupted by your touch? May I be willing to stand expectantly before you, holding my burden and submitting to your judgment? When I find my hopes dashed, like this widow, instead of being oblivious to all but my immediate circumstance, may I be awakened by the dawn of Your wonderful surprises: Your presence, Your purposes?


So, what would you like to do in my life today?

Ephesians 2:1-10:

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Isolation's Double Bind

Scripture

(Proverbs 18:1 ESV) Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

Observation

This text seems to warn people against isolating themselves. Indeed, psychologists view a person's isolation with suspicion: it's part of depression's slippery slope, it's a chapter from domestic abusers' strategy book, it's a placebo in paranoid schizophrenia's pharmacy. Yet Jesus Himself demonstrated that isolation is a necessary part of health and wholeness:

• And it happened, as He was alone praying, that His disciples joined Him, and He asked them, saying, “Who do the crowds say that I am?”(Luke 9:18).
• So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed (Luke 5:16).

Historically, this proverb has stumped many translators. Adam Clarke said its original Hebrew version is difficult and obscure, and he provided examples of how others have translated it:

• "He who wishes to break with his friend, and seeks occasions or pretences, shall at all times be worthy of blame" (Vulgate, Septuagint, and Arabic)
• "Who so hath pleasure to sowe discorde, piketh a quarrel in every thinge" (Coverdale).
• "Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom" (King James Version).

Adam Clarke's decision of how this verse is best translated is as follows:

"He who is separated shall seek the desired thing, (i.e., the object of his desire,) and shall intermeddle (mingle himself) with all realities or all essential knowledge." He finds that he can make little progress in the investigation of Divine and natural things, if he have much to do with secular or trifling matters: he therefore separates himself as well from unprofitable pursuits as from frivolous company, and then enters into the spirit of his pursuit; is not satisfied with superficial observances, but examines the substance and essence, as far as possible, of those things which have been the objects of his desire.

Application (Personal)
Yea, Mr. Clarke! Sometimes life's pressures demand making space for isolation., for private rest. It's healthy if both motive and method are pure--to withdraw from ... (whatever), for the purpose of drawing closer to something better. Therefore, here are my decisions:

1. Although the privilege of enjoying God's ever-available presence is a gift I frequently neglect, I set myself to share David's experience of God (from Psalm 91:1,2): "I will dwell in the shelter of the Most High and abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' "
2. Although the necessary routines and responsibilities of life are ever present and although they come in an unending variety, I will take a season to extract myself from all of these that I can responsbily leave so I can focus wholeheartedly on being fully attentive to the instructions my God would have for me.

Application (Psychological)
The tension is real--it's a double bind. Some people are extroverts--energized by social interactions and external mental processing; others are introverts--energized by privacy and internal mental processing. In 1949, Raymond Cattell published the first edition of his 16 Personality Factor Questionnaire (16PF). The 16PF is a self-report assessment instrument that measures the 16 normal adult personality dimensions. Imbedded in this measurement are scales of extroversion (social boldness) and introversion (privateness). These are the Cattell’s 16 personality scales he obtained through factor analysis:

1. Warmth
2. Reasoning
3. Emotional Stability
4. Dominance
5. Liveliness
6. Rule-Consciousnes
7. Social Boldness
8. Sensitivity
9. Vigilance
10. Abstractedness
11. Privateness
12. Apprehensiveness
13. Openness to Change
14. Self-Reliance
15. Perfectionism
16. Tension

Contempory churches tend to promote extroversion as normal and best. That is the preferred dimension of God, as Adam Hugh quotes Richard Halverson: "The extravert God of John 3:16 does not beget and introvert people.." Adam Hugh (finally) brings balance to that trend in his book Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture. Here are particularly salient quotes he included in his book:

• "The healthy Christian is not necessaryily the extrovert, ebullient Christian, but the Christian who has a sense of God's presence stamped deep on his soul, who trembles at God's Word, who lets it dwell in him richly by constant meditaiton upon it, and who tests and reforms his life daily in response to it" (J. I. Packer, A Quest for Godliness: The Puritan Vision of the Christian Life).
• "Without knowldege of self there is not knowledge of God. Without knowledge of God there is no knowledge of self" (John Calvin, The Institutes of the Christian Religion).
• "The question I put to myself is not 'How many people have you spoken to about Christ this week?' but 'How many people have youlistened to in Christ this week?' " (Eugene Peterson, The Contemplative Pastor).

Prayer
(Quoted from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions; edited by Arthur Bennett. pages 32-33):

Christ Is All

O Lover to the Uttermost,

May I read the meltings of thy heart to me

     in the manger of thy birth,

     in the garden of thy agony,

     in the cross of thy suffering,

     in the tomb of thy resurrection,

     in the heaven of thy intercession.

Bold in this thought I defy my adversary,

     tread down his temptations,

     resist his schemings,

     renounce the world,
     am valiant for truth.
Deepen in me a sense of my holy relationships to thee,
     as spiritual Bridegroom,
     as Jehovah's Fellow,
     as sinner's Friend.
I think of thy glory and my vileness,
     thy majesty and my meanness,

     thy beauty and my deformity,

     thy purity and my filth,

     thy righteousness and my iniquity.

Thou hast loved me everlastingly, unchangeably,

     may I love thee as I am loved.

Thou has given thyself for me,

     may I give myself to thee.

Thou has died for me,

     may I live to thee,

     in every moment of my time,

     in every movement of my mind,

     in every pulse of my heart.

May I never dally with the world and its allurements,
     but walk by thy side,
     listen to thy voice,
     be clothed with thy graces,
     and be adorned with thy righteousness.

Linear Paths through a Circuitous World

 Scripture (Proverbs 4:10-19 ESV)
10 Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many. I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness. When you walk, your step will not be hampered and if you run, you will not stumble.

13 Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.

14 Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble. For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.

18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.

Observation
The contrast of two paths is a familiar theme in both the Old and New Testaments. The first paragraph (verses 10-12) informs us, once again, that godly obedience prolongs not merely the length of life, but the quality of life. Of course. The descriptions of godliness includes such health-promoting qualities as peace instead of anxiety, joy instead of despair, delight instead of ungratefulness, and healthy relationships instead of chronic relational skirmishes whether they are in face-to-face encounters or in the endless replays in our imaginations, Logically, godliness is the supreme path to walk. I love what Alexander Maclaren said about these verses: "Sin is the stupidist thing in the universe, for it ignores the plainest of facts, and never gets what it flings away so much to secure."

In the second paragraph (verse 13), our relationship to Instruction becomes the focus of attention. As a hiker in a hurricane would hold a map tightly lest it be ripped away, as a visitor in an over-crowded marketplace in a foreign land (China? Madris? New York City?), as a refugee secreting away family gems in hope of a better life in another location, so should we secure God's instructions safely in our hearts. Maclaren comments: "Hands become slack, and many a good gift drops from nerveless fingers; thieves abound who will filch away instructions if we do not resolutely hold tight by it." Repentance is our key for discerning God's instruction (Proverbs 1:23): "If you turn [repent] at my reproof, [God's Word], I will pour out my Spirit to you and I will make my words known to you." Simply put, if we value His voice, we'll not only hear it, but we'll be empowered and guided by His Spirit to keep up with him"

In the third paragraph (verses 14-17, we look at the negative examples of people who lost their way. Here are repeated counsels to steer clear of evil. The trend today is to quote Rick Warren, "It's not about you" as a encouragement to be less ego-centric. However, here Solomon shows us the other side of that coin: it actually is all about us. We can't honestly hold other people responsible for the quality of our lives. In steering away from evil, it is all about us making a strong effort to keep evil at arm's length, Our resistance to evil is imperative, and we must become both accustomed and accomplished at saying "No!" (James 4:5-10; 1 Peter 5:5-10).

Finally, in verses 18-19, we see the dramatic contrast between the two paths before us. Godliness is that steady, deliberate, focus on a single, simple goal: loving and pleasing God. Wickedness is that hairball-like trail people follow when they don't value God's Word. Such lives flow like the trail of a lost person who panicked and ran in circles in a dense forest, never far from the safe road, but always just missing it or not recognizing it. I am so thankful that, through loving God, we get to walk an increasingly brighter, better trail.

Application (Psychological)
Counselors of studied the confused paths of people who try to escape addictive, self-destructive behaviors. DiClemente (Addiction and Change, p. 238) says, "leaving an addictive behavior once it has become well maintained requires a journey through stages of recovery.... Although the journey could occur in a single attempt and a linear fashion, most often it is not rapid. Many individuals spend long periods of time in one or another of these stages [Precontemplative, Contemplative, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance], and most make a number of Action attempts before they successfully establish a lifestyle that is free of the addiction. For most addicted individuals who struggle to get free of their addiction, the journey follows what is more like a spiral path of movement through the stages of recovery. Forward successful movement toward change is often achieved only after cycling and recycling several times through the stages of Contemplation, Preparation, and Action before reaching stable recovery and finally exiting this spiral. ... Permanent change is not only possible but the norm for those who persist in learning how to move successfully through the stages of change." Here, too, we see these two contrasting paths: one is disciplined, deliberate, and linear, the other is confused, circuitous, and non-linear.

Application (Personal)
Walking with the Lord requires steady nerves and a clear focus. This isn't a natural response in the midst of a storm. However, once I splash cold water in my face to re-orient myself to my love of the Lord and my trust in His goodness, the confusion of the world blends into the shadows because of the brightness of my goal--God's glory. In the brightness of the noonday sun, shadows are darkest and most distinct. Anytime I become aware of the deep, dark shadows around me, I resolve to look directly into the brightness of God's glory in Jesus Christ. 

Prayer (Quoted from "Valley of Vision: Puritan Prayers and Devotions" page 12-13, "The Mover"):
O Supreme Moving Cause, may I always be subordinate to thee,
   be dependent on thee,
   be found in the path where thou didst walk,
   and where thy Spirit moves,
   take heed of estrangement from thee,
   of becoming insensible to thy love.
Thou dost not move men like stones,
   but dost endue them with life,
   not to enable them to move without thee,
   but in submission to thee, the first mover.
O Lord, I am astonished at the difference
   between my receivings and my deservings,
   between the state I am now in and my past gracelessness,
   between the heaven I am bound for and the hell I merit.
Who made me to differ, but thee?
   for I was no more ready to receive Christ than were others;
   I could not have begun to love thee had thou not first loved me,
   or been willing unless thou had first made me so.
O that such a crown should fit the head of such a sinner!
   such high advancement be for an unfruitful person!
   such joys for so vile a rebel!
Infinite wisdom cast the design of salvation
   into the mould of purchase and freedom;
Let wrath deserved be written on the door of hell,
   but the free gift of grace on the gate of heaven.
I know that my sufferings are the result of my sinning,
   but in heaven both shall cease;
Grant me to attain this haven and be done with sailing,
   and may the gales of thy mercy blow me safely into harbour.
Let thy love draw me nearer to thyself,
   wean me from sin, mortify me to this world,
   and make me ready for my departure hence.
Secure me by thy grace as I sail across this stormy sea.

De-Wildered and De-Witched

Scripture

(Psalm 145:1,2) I will extol you, my God and my King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever.


Observation
"Extol" comes from the Middle English, extollere (ex = up or out; and tollere = tolerate); and "tolerate" means "to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction." Thus, every day, I will "tolerate" God's sovereign goodness in whatever way He in His tender mercy decides is best--even when my soul wants to prohibit, hinder, or contradict His design; even when my understanding is tormented or my emotions are confused. Frankly, that's a pleasant gift He provides for people. We are easily bewildered; sometimes we are appropriately bewildered... or so we think.


Application (Personal)
So, is Jesus actually my Lord, my God, my King? Then I delight in praising him, especially when circumstances instead of Truth tempt me to distrust his goodness and faithfulness. Am I bewildered? (How curiously funny that bewilderment immediately precedes bewitch in the dictionary.) Why would I ever choose to "be wilder, confused, or jumbled?" Each day, the Holy Spirit still broods over the dark voids of creation (Genesis 1:1-3), bringing light to darkness and order to confusion and substance to emptiness. Each day, He provides circumstances that help me to love and trust and know him more than previously. That's a pretty fine deal.


Application (Psychological)
Praising God each day isn't for spiritual toadies. And as weird and inordinate as "tolerate" seems in this context), tolerating God isn't a mindless exercise. Choosing to love and trust the Lord in difficult circumstances helps us to more accurately appreciate who he actually is. It helps grow less bewildered by life, more spiritually organized.


Some life experiences (trauma, for example) are truly bewildering and beyond our ability to sort out. Thankfully, my first-hand experience of trauma is almost imperceptible in the scale of human tragedies. Here is how Marion F. Solomon and Daniel J. Seigel explain how true trauma survivors can be helped to sort out their emotional and intellectual chaos:


"To make meaning of the traumatic experiences usually is not enough. Traumatized individuals need to have experiences that directly contradict the emotional helplessness and physical paralysis that accompany traumatic experiences. In many people with PTSD, such helplessness and paralysis becomes a habitual way of responding to stressful stimuli, further weakening their feelings of control over their destiny. The critical steps in treating PTSD can be summarized as follows:

1. Safety. When people's own resources are inadequate to deal with threat, they need to rely on others to provide them with safety and care. After having been traumatized, [it] is critical that the victim re-establish contact with his or her natural social support system. If this system is inadequate to ensure the safety of the patient, institutional resources need to be mobilized to help the patient find a place to recover.
2. Anxiety Management. After the patient's safety has been assured, there may be a need for a variety of psychological interventions. They need to learn to name the problems they face, and learn to formulate appropriate solutions. Assault victims must learn to distinguish between the real life threats and the haunting, irrational fears which are part of PTSD. If anxiety dominates, victims need to be helped to strengthen their coping skills. Practical anxiety management skills training may include deep muscle relaxation, breathing control, role-playing, covert modeling, thought stopping, and guided self-dialogue.
3. Emotional Processing. To put the event(s) in perspective, the victim needs to re-experience the event without feeling helpless. Traditionally following Freud's notion that words can substitute for action to resolve a trauma, this has been done by helping people to talk about their entire experience. They are asked to articulate [1] what they think happened, and what led up to it; [2] their own contributions to what happened; [3] their thoughts and fantasies during the event; [4] what was the worst part of it; and [5] their reactions to the event in detail, including how it has affected their perceptions of themselves and others. Such exposure therapy is thought to promote symptom reduction by allowing patients to realize that: (a) remembering the trauma is not equivalent to experiencing it again; (b) that the experience had a beginning, a middle, and an end, and that the event now belongs to one's personal history.

... Although traditional exposure therapy can be very helpful in overcoming traumatic intrusions, it needs to be applied with care. Some patients, on recalling their trauma, my become flooded with both the traumatic memories and memories of previously forgotten traumas. Increased activation of traumatic memories may be associated with increased shame, guilt, aggression, and increase in alcohol and drug use." (from Healing Trauma: Attachment, Mind, Body, and Brain. 2003, NY: Norton,,188-189)


Prayer
Lord, as a humble corner of Your creation, I eagerly await Your new dawn on this day in my life! Really! Eagerly! Happily! I extol you, my God and my King. I bless your name today and forever.

Depression vs. Delight: 12 Meditations

Scripture (Philippians 4:4-9)

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. ⁵Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 ⁸Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Observation

Peace and joy. You’d think we would be more willing to experience these regularly. Those are the side benefits of hanging out regularly with Christ. Here are just four the benefits picked up from just this Scriptural passage:

·        Rejoicing is always reasonable.

·        The Lord is always near.

·        Anxiety is never necessary.

·        Peace is a side benefit of prayer, gratefulness, reality-based thinking—and peace isn’t even the main delight.

Application (Personal)

Proverbs 18:14--A man's spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?

1.        On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being crushed, how healthy is my spirit?

Proverbs 12:25--Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

2.        What am I most anxious about?

3.        What might God's still, small voice saying to me?

Proverbs 15:13--A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.

4.        What's sad to think of?

5.        What's gratifying to think of?

6.        Why am I choosing one way of thinking more than the other?

Proverbs 15:15--All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.

7.        What's dark about the future?

8.        What's bright about the present?

9.        Why am I choosing one way of thinking more than the other?

Proverbs 17:22--A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

10.     Which direction will I choose?

11.     Which lifestyle will I resist?

12.     Which lifestyle will I fight to win for myself (and to have leak out into my relationships with others)?

Application (Psychological)

New scientific studies about the importance of positivity (which is not the superficiality that has been based on such wishful axioms as “Grin and bear it” or “Don’t worry, be happy.” Instead, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson defines it as consisting of “the whole range of emotions—from appreciation to love, from amusement to joy, from hope to gratitude, and then some. It includes positive meanings and optimistic attitudes that trigger positive emotions as well as the open minds, tender hearts, relaxed limbs, and soft faces they usher in. It even includes the long-term impact that positive emotions have on your character, relationships, communities, and environment.” Based on extensive research, she asserts that “positivity opens us. The first core truth about positive emotions is that they open our hearts and our minds, making us more receptive and more creative.” (Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive. 2009. Crown Publishing Group. pp. 6, 21). Finally, I have a reasonable foundation for seeking positivity in the midst of difficulty: enjoying the rigors and delights of God’s presence gives me a perfect excuse for smiling and even laughing more often. It’s nice that science is catching up with Scripture.

Prayer

O Lord, You have searched me and known me …. Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:1,24,25).

Attached at the Heart

Scripture
(Hebrews 13:4-6)--Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"


Observation

"Going down?" The motion within the design of this paragraph provides valuable insights. Each phrase moves us increasingly deeper from our behaviors into our core emotions and values--not only of marriage, but of life itself (of which marriage is a metaphor). By the way, the gold mines in South Africa are the world's deepest mines. Over 2.6 miles deep already, the AngloGold Mponeng mine is being excavated another 300 meters deeper according to answers.com. According to God's Word, the insights from this text, if brought back and applied to the surface of the daily routines of our lives, give us a wealth of benefits.

Ready? The Holy Spirit starts this movement with the marriage bed, requesting that we honor it with all its rich, positive images and meanings. The Holy Spirit immediately puts the reader into an an attentive mental state and heightened emotional state. Each of us, He says, should hold that bed in honor and place value on it. How do we do that? His explanation is like an elevator that takes us deep into our spirit's innermost needs and treasures--the yet-to-be-mined gold. The bed represents that place where we experience the most vulnerable, familiar, and intimate aspect of marriage. Honoring it leads us further into the sacredness of relationship; dishonoring it pollutes it and keeps us shallow and unfulfilled.The sexual use of that bed is perhaps the most obvious use, naturally. How do we dishonor and devalue it? First, we're told, by committing fornication (i.e., "sexual immorality") or adultery--seeking satisfaction by going outside the marriage for pleasures that belong in marriage. The meaning here includes both our illicit behaviors and our illicit imaginations. These violate the bed just as thoroughly as a literally contaminated bed disgusts our imaginations and emotions. These wasteful and misguided behaviors and desires are further explained in Matthew 5:27-32; James 1:12-18. 

Let's go deeper. A less obvious destroyer of the marital bed is an inordinate lust for material pleasures and securities. A belief that stuff--property, houses, clothes, bank accounts, retirement funds (metaphorically silver and gold)--will provide us with safety and satisfaction. It is a misguided belief that ultimately proves to be destructive. This belief defiles the marriage bed, it corrupts marriages and prevents all its victims from enjoying an even more basic use of the bed: sleep. Contentment is an essential guardian of good night's sleep and rest. We can rest comfortably without having to guard our storehouse or relentlessly seek more stuff for security because the Lord Himself if our all-sufficient supply, which is what Paul's letter to the Colossian Church was all about. David wrote in Psalm 121: "He that watches (guards and guides) you will not slumber or sleep (grow indolent or drowsy).

Finally, the Holy Spirit brings to our attention our most hidden and valuable treasure. It's what makes the marriage bed work. It's what gives rest to the secret, sacred, vulnerable spaces of our souls. It speaks to our basic human terror--being abandoned and alone. It's where we're most vulnerable--far more deeply than our sexuality, far more deeply than our material security. Here, the Holy Spirit wisely redirects the readers’ attention to the Lord, the only perfect model for relational safety. He will never leave us (literally, that means, He will never let up, slacken, desert, or withhold Himself). Nor will he forsake us (literally that means He will remain fully dedicated, consecrated to us). In marriage, this is the greatest gift any husband can give to his wife or any wife can give to her husband. This permanent presence is not the threatening, intimidating burden of an oppressor, but the life-giving resource of an excellent ally. Just for fun, be encouraged by reading carefully these other passages that describe the Lord's presence in our lives; it's a picture of how we be best serve people: Deuteronomy 31:6-8; Psalm 118.

Application (Personal)

Caves are almost irresistable to me. Dr. David Manock, referring to Dr. Susan Johnson's method of marital counseling, uses an old Irish story of a cave and a dragon to describe our relational needs in life. According to this metaphor, life is described as standing in the back of a cave, with your back against the back wall, waiting for the dragon to come and attack. In this story, realizing that death is inevitable, the Irish person asks his partner not if they can work together to defeat the dragon or escape, but, "Am I alone or are you with me?" Manock explains that the deep relational bond "answers the existential question in the human heart. Psychologically, the most toxic and terrifying experience in all of life's problems is that deep sense, experience, and fear that somehow a person is thrown back upon themselves and are utterly alone, rejected, and abandoned in relationship" (Oregon Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Spring Edition 2011, p. 5).

Being alone--abandoned, uncared for, forsaken--is the great terror of life.That's the central message of Hosea's life, his miserable marriage, and his prophetic writings. That's the cry that shook all corners of creation when Jesus took our sins and hung with them on the cross: "My God! My God! Why have You forsaken me?" That's the essential description of Hell (Mark 9:42-50; 2 Thessalonians 1:9).

So, instead of serving and helping Eve, Adam passively stood by while she fell to the Dragon's temptations. Making his sin worse, he then blamed her instead of being responsible for his own failures. Thus, he forsook and dealt treacherously against God when he abandoned Eve (Genesis 3; Hosea 6:7; Ephesians 5:21-33). In a similar way, instead of using her uniquely god-given gifts to help Adam, she actively engaged in destructive disobedience against God when she failed to help Adam remain righteous (Genesis 3; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:21-33).

In my unregenerate state--when I live by my natural reasonings instead of by putting on the mind of Christ--I live in the likeness of my original parents, both Adam and Eve. Christ is the second Adam (dare I say, the second Eve, since both were made in His image). In Christ, can enjoy never, ever being forsaken or abandoned. In Christ, I can learn what it means to not be an abandoner or forsaker of people, as my old habits had been. Just as you went to the cross to redeem my parents' sins (Adam and Eve's), I can be encouraged that your work on the cross can also redeem where I've messed up.

Application (Psychological)
Susan Johnson’s created a therapy model that includes in its conceptual foundation the Attachment Theory of Human Development. This theory holds that successful human maturation--even successful brain development--is determined by the nature of a child's primary care giver during the child's earliest years: appropriate, caring responses by the care-giver (also called the attachment figure) lead to healthy development for the child and inappropriate responses by the care-giver negatively affect the child's development. I suggest that the the elements of this theory are consistent with biblical descriptions of our need for intimate, caring communities and our healthy fear of abandonment. Below, is my paraphrase of how Dr. Johnson summarized the ten central tenets of attachment theory (The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, 2nd ed., 2004, pp. 25-32). 

1. Attachment (intimate, loving relationships) is an innate motivating force. Seeking and maintaining contact with significant others is a primary motivating principle in human beings across the life span. The fear of isolation and loss is found in every human heart—when the wind blows, it stings the eyes of all.

2. Secure (healthy) dependence complements autonomy. There is no such thing as complete independence. There is only effective or ineffective dependency. Secure dependence fosters autonomy and self-confidence—the more connected we are, the more separate and different we can be. Health in this model means maintaining a felt sense of interdependency, rather than being self-sufficient and separate from others.

3. Attachment offers an essential safe haven. Contact with attachment figures is an innate survival mechanism. The presence of an attachment figure, which usually means parents, children, and spouses, provides comfort and security, while perceived inaccessibility of such figures creates distress—proximity to a loved one tranquilizes the nervous system. It is the natural antidote to the inevitable anxieties and vulnerabilities of life. For people of all ages, positive attachments create a safe haven that offers a buffer against the effects of stress and uncertainty and an optimal context for the continuing development of the personality.

4. Attachment offers a secure base. From this secure base, individuals can explore their universe and most adaptively respond to their environment. The presence of this base encourages exploration and a cognitive openness to new information. It promotes the confidence necessary to risk, learn, and continually update models of self, others, and the world so that adjustment to new contexts is made. Secure attachment strengthens the ability to stand back and reflect on oneself, one’s behavior, and one’s mental states.

5. Emotional accessibility and responsiveness build bonds. In general emotion activates and organizes attachment behaviors—the building blocks of secure attachment are emotional accessibility and responsiveness. If there is not engagement, no emotional responsiveness, the message from the attachment figure reads as: “Your signals do not matter, and there is no connection between us.” Attachment relationships are where our strongest emotions arise and where they seem to have most impact. Emotions tell us and communicate to others what our motivations and needs are; they are the music of our attachment dance.

6. Fear and uncertainty activate attachment needs. When the individual is threatened, either by traumatic events (the negative aspects of everyday life such as stress or illness) or by any assault on the security of the attachment bond itself, powerful emotions arise. Our need for comfort and connection become particularly salient and compelling. Attachment behaviors, such as longing to be with a loved one, are then activated. This is a primary, inbuilt emotional regulation device. Attachment to key others is our “primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness.”

7. The process of separation distress is predictable. If behaviors designed to promote attachment fail to evoke comforting responses from an attachment figure, the process of angry protest, clinging, depression, and despair occur, culminating in detachment. Depression is the natural response to loss of connection. In secure relationships, protests at inaccessibility is recognized and accepted: “I’m so sorry that I …” and mutual attempts to reconnect follow. It’s a common dance step.

8. A finite number of insecure forms of engagement can be identified. In other words, there are only a few ways of coping with a negative response to the question, “Can I depend on you when I need you?” Attachment responses tend to be organized along two dimensions: anxiety and avoidance: (1) anxious, preoccupied clinging (hyperactivated overdrive), (2) detached avoidance (deactivate the attachment system and suppress the attachment needs), and (3) disorganized, fearful avoidance (seeking closeness while also fearfully avoiding closeness).

9. Attachment involves working models of self and other. We define ourselves in the context of our most intimate relationships. Secure attachment is characterized by a working model of self that is worthy of love and care and is confident and competent, and indeed research has found secure attachment to be associated with greater self-efficacy. Securely attached people (who believe others will be appropriately responsive when needed) also tend to have working models of others as being dependable and worthy of trust. These models of self and others (distilled out of thousands of interactions) become expectations and biases that are carried forward into new relationships. They are procedural scripts for how to create relatedness and ways of processing attachment information.

10. Isolation and loss are inherently traumatizing. Attachment theory is essentially a trauma theory. It describes and explains the trauma of deprivations, loss, rejection, and abandonment by those we need the most and the enormous impact it has on us. Traumatic stressors, and the isolation that follows, have a tremendous impact on personality formation and on a person’s ability to deal with other stresses in life. Attachment theorist Bowlby believed that when someone is confident that a loved one will be there when needed, “a person will be much less prone to either intense or chronic fear than will an individual who has not such confidence." Distressed partners who are dealing with the traumatic helplessness induced by isolation and loss tend to adopt stances of fight, flight, or freeze that characterize responses to traumatic stress.

Prayer
Lord, teach me how to be a person who continually and truly cares about people. Teach me how to "be with" people even when I--in myself--don't have the specific answers they need. Teach me how to effectively encourage people to know you, to trust you, and to love you more and more with each passing day. I'm learning to do that--ever so slowly--and I am ever grateful for your promised presence with me.